
And then I saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of me - a face I had never seen before. I looked at
my reflection, blinking so that I could see more clearly. The girl staring back at me was angry, powerful.
She and I were the same. I had new thoughts, willful thoughts - or. rather, thoughts filled with lots of
won'ts. I won't let her change me, I promised myself. I won't be what I'm not.
So now when my mother presented her tests, I performed listlessly, my head propped on one arm. I
pretended to be bored. And I was. I played a game with myself, seeing if my mother would give up on
me before eight bellows. After a while I usually counted only one bellow, maybe two at most. At last she
was beginning to give up hope.
Two or three months went by without any mention of my being a prodigy. And then one day my mother
was watching the Ed Sullivan Show on TV. The TV was old and the sound kept shorting out. Every time
my mother got halfway up from the sofa to adjust the set, the sound would come back on and Sullivan
would be talking. As soon as she sat down, Sullivan would go silent again. She got up - the TV broke into
loud piano music. She seemed entranced by the music, a frenzied little piano piece with a mesmerizing
quality, which alternated between quick, playful passages and teasing, lilting ones.
"Ni kan," my mother said, calling me over with hurried hand gestures. "Look here."
I could see why my mother was fascinated by the music. It was being pounded out by a little Chinese
girl, about nine years old. The girl had the sauciness of a Shirley Temple. She was proudly modest, like a
proper Chinese Child. And she also did a fancy sweep of a curtsy. In spite of these warning signs, I wasn't
worried. Our family had no piano and we couldn't afford to buy one, let alone reams of sheet music and
piano lessons. So I could be generous in my comments when my mother badmouthed the little girl on
TV.
Three days after watching the Ed Sullivan Show my mother told me what my schedule would be for
piano lessons and piano practice. She had talked to Mr. Chong, who lived on the first floor of our
apartment building. Mr.Chong was a retired piano teacher, and my mother had traded housecleaning
services for weekly lessons and a piano for me to practice on every day, two hours a day, from four until
six.
When my mother told me this, I felt as though I had been sent to hell. I whined, and then kicked my foot
a little when I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Why don't you like me the way I am?" I cried. "I'm not a genius! I can't play the piano. And even if I
could, I wouldn't go on TV if you paid me a million dollars!"
My mother slapped me. "So ungrateful," I heard her mutter in Chinese, "If she had as much talent as she
has temper, she'd be famous now."
Mr. Chong, whom I secretly nicknamed Old Chong, was very strange, always tapping his fingers to the
silent music of an invisible orchestra. He looked ancient in my eyes. He had lost most of the hair on the
top of his head, and he wore thick glasses and had eyes that always looked tired. But he must have been
younger than I thought, since he lived with his mother and was not yet married.
I met Old Lady Chong once, and that was enough. She had a peculiar smell, like a baby that had done