very great delight, as a reward for her labour I was allowed to
take my pick of the jellies and ‘shapes’ that had come back
uneaten from the fête. I was put to sit at a deal-topped table, and
given a spoon from the family's own drawer—a heavy thing of
dulled silver, its bowl almost bigger than my mouth.
But then came an even greater treat. High up on the wall of the
vaulted passage was a junction-box of wires and bells, and when
one of these bells was set ringing, calling the parlourmaid
upstairs, she took me with her, so that I might peep past the green
baize curtain that separated the front of the house from the back.
I could stand and wait for her there, she said, if I was very good
and quiet. I must only be sure to keep behind the curtain, for if
the Colonel or the missus were to see me, there'd be a row.
I was an obedient child, as a rule. But the curtain opened onto
the corner junction of two marble-oored passages, each one
lled with marvellous things; and once she had disappeared softly
in one direction, I took a few daring steps in the other. The thrill
of it was astonishing. I don't mean the simple thrill of trespass, I
mean the thrill of the house itself, which came to me from every
surface—from the polish on the oor, the patina on wooden
chairs and cabinets, the bevel of a looking-glass, the scroll of a
frame. I was drawn to one of the dustless white walls, which had
a decorative plaster border, a representation of acorns and leaves.
I had never seen anything like it, outside of a church, and after a
second of looking it over I did what strikes me now as a dreadful
thing: I worked my ngers around one of the acorns and tried to
prise it from its setting; and when that failed to release it, I got
out my penknife and dug away with that. I didn't do it in a spirit
of vandalism. I wasn't a spiteful or destructive boy. It was simply
that, in admiring the house, I wanted to possess a piece of it—or
rather, as if the admiration itself, which I suspected a more
ordinary child would not have felt, entitled me to it. I was like a
man, I suppose, wanting a lock of hair from the head of a girl he
had suddenly and blindingly become enamoured of.