No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover explores the psychological patterns of men who seek approval and avoid conflict, often at the expense of their own needs. The book identifies the 'Nice Guy Syndrome,' detailing how these men struggle with intimacy and self-acceptance. Glover provides strategies for reclaiming personal power, masculinity, and fulfilling relationships. Ideal for men seeking to break free from unhealthy patterns and improve their lives, this guide offers practical exercises and insights for personal growth.

Key Points

  • Explains the Nice Guy Syndrome and its impact on relationships
  • Offers strategies for reclaiming personal power and masculinity
  • Includes practical exercises for self-discovery and growth
  • Discusses the importance of setting boundaries in relationships
newtopiccyclegrowin
153 pages
Sociology
newtopiccyclegrowin
153 pages
Sociology
173
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NO MORE
MR. NICE GUY!
A Proven Plan for Getting
What You Want
In Love, Sex and Life
Robert A. Glover, Ph.D.
Table Of Contents
Introduction
Chapter One The Nice Guy Syndrome
Chapter Two The Making Of A Nice Guy
Chapter Three Learn To Please The Only Person Who Really Matters
Chapter Four Make Your Needs A Priority
Chapter Five Reclaim Your Personal Power
Chapter Six Reclaim Your Masculinity
Chapter
Seven
Get The Love You Want: Success Strategies For Intimate Relationships
Chapter
Eight
Get The Sex You Want: Success Strategies For Satisfying Sex
Chapter Nine Get the Life You Want: Discover Your Passion And Potential In Life, Work, And
Career
Epilogue
Introduction
Five decades of dramatic social change and monumental shifts in the traditional family have created a
breed of men who have been conditioned to seek the approval of others.
I call these men Nice Guys.
Nice Guys are concerned about looking good and doing it "right." They are happiest when they are
making others happy. Nice Guys avoid conflict like the plague and will go to great lengths to avoid
upsetting anyone. In general, Nice Guys are peaceful and generous. Nice Guys are especially concerned
about pleasing women and being different from other men. In a nutshell, Nice Guys believe that if they
are good, giving, and caring, they will in return be happy, loved, and fulfilled.
Sound too good to be true?
It is.
Over the last several years, I have encountered countless frustrated and resentful Nice Guys in my
practice as a psychotherapist. These passively pleasing men struggle in vain to experience the happiness
they so desperately crave and believe they deserve. This frustration is due to the fact that Nice Guys
have believed a myth.
This myth is the essence of what I call the Nice Guy Syndrome. The Nice Guy Syndrome represents a
belief that if Nice Guys are "good," they will be loved, get their needs met, and live a problem-free life.
When this life strategy fails to produce the desired results — as it often does — Nice Guys usually just
try harder, doing more of the same. Due to the sense of helplessness and resentment this pattern
inevitably produces, Nice Guys are often anything but nice.
The concept of the Nice Guy Syndrome grew out of my own frustration of trying to do it "right," yet
never getting back what I believed I deserved. I was the typical "sensitive new age guy" — and proud of
it. I believed I was one of the nicest guys you would ever meet. Yet I wasn't happy.
As I began exploring my own Nice Guy behaviors — caretaking, giving to get, fixing, keeping the
peace, avoiding conflict, seeking approval, hiding mistakes — I started noticing numerous men with
similar traits in my counseling practice. It dawned on me that the script guiding my own life was not an
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FAQs

What is the Nice Guy Syndrome?
The Nice Guy Syndrome refers to a pattern of behavior in men who prioritize pleasing others over their own needs, often leading to frustration and resentment. These men believe that being 'nice' will earn them love and acceptance, but this strategy frequently backfires, resulting in feelings of inadequacy and unfulfillment. The syndrome is rooted in childhood experiences where needs were unmet, leading to a belief that they must earn affection through self-sacrifice.
How can Nice Guys improve their intimate relationships?
Nice Guys can enhance their intimate relationships by learning to prioritize their own needs and setting healthy boundaries. This involves recognizing their patterns of caretaking and approval-seeking, which often create dysfunctional dynamics. By focusing on self-approval and expressing their feelings, Nice Guys can foster deeper connections with their partners. Additionally, engaging in open communication and being honest about their desires can lead to more satisfying and reciprocal relationships.
What strategies does Robert Glover suggest for personal growth?
Robert Glover suggests several strategies for personal growth, including embracing one's masculinity, setting boundaries, and taking responsibility for one's own needs. He emphasizes the importance of self-approval and encourages men to express their feelings openly. Glover also advocates for the practice of healthy masturbation as a means to reconnect with one's sexuality and remove shame. These strategies collectively help men reclaim their personal power and lead fulfilling lives.
What role does shame play in the Nice Guy Syndrome?
Shame plays a central role in the Nice Guy Syndrome, as it often stems from childhood experiences where needs were unmet or criticized. This internalized shame leads Nice Guys to believe they are unworthy of love and acceptance unless they conform to others' expectations. As a result, they may avoid vulnerability and intimacy, fearing exposure of their perceived flaws. Addressing and overcoming this shame is crucial for recovery and for developing healthier relationships.
How does Glover define masculinity?
Glover defines masculinity as the part of a man that equips him to survive and thrive, encompassing traits such as strength, discipline, courage, and integrity. He argues that many Nice Guys repress these masculine traits due to societal pressures and fears of being perceived as aggressive or controlling. By reclaiming their masculinity, men can embrace their full potential and engage more authentically in their relationships.

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