Being impeccable with our word. This is big.
First, let’s look at how Ruiz defines the word impeccability: “Impeccability means ‘without sin.’
Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus, which means ‘sin.’ The im in impeccable means
‘without,’ so impeccable means ‘without sin.’ Religions talk about sin and sinners, but let’s
understand what it really means to sin. A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself.
Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin. You go against yourself
when you judge or blame yourself for anything. Being without sin is exactly the opposite. Being
impeccable is not going against yourself. When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for
your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.”
Brilliant.
So when we’re impeccable, we don’t use our word against ourselves indulging in guilt or shame.
We also don’t use our word against others
in blaming, criticizing or gossiping. We also honor our
commitments and only make commitments we intend to follow through on.
How’re you doing on those fronts?
In The Diamond Cutter (see Notes), Geshe Michael Roach talks about the fact that in Tibet
they don’t even have a word for “guilt.” As he says: “There’s no word in Tibetan for ‘guilty.’ The
closest thing is ‘intelligent regret that decides to do things differently.’”
Geshe Roach also describes blame/criticism/complaining/etc. as “useless talk.” It depletes us of
energy and wires our brains in ways we don’t wanna be wired. So, uh, let’s get impeccable with
our word and stop all blame and criticism—of ourselves and others; and, while we’re at it, let’s
get rid of all the complaining and gossip as well! :)
Now, let’s address being impeccable with our word as it relates to commitments.
Do you honor your commitments? When you say you’re going to do something, do you *really*
intend to follow through and then DO you? Or, do you kinda say “Yes” to every request because
you think you need to and you figure you can always flake later? We’ve all said “Yes” too often
when a polite “No” would’ve been more appropriate but let’s practice honoring our word and the
commitments we make, shall we?!
(While we’re on the subject of sin, did you know that, according to Wikipedia: “in the biblical
Hebrew, the generic word for sin is het. It means to err, to miss the mark. It does not mean to
do evil.” Paulo Coelho (see Notes) talks about the fact that to sin, from this perspective, is kinda
like an archer missing the bulls-eye. Cool, eh?)
2ND AGREEMENT: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… if I see you on the street and say,
‘Hey, you are so stupid,’ without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about me. If you take it
personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid. Maybe you think to yourself, ‘How does he
know? Is he clairvoyant, or can everybody see how stupid I am?’”
This is another theme that all the great teachers come back to again and again and again (and
again :).
How about some Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Deepak Chopra?
Marcus Aurelius (see Notes on Meditations) reminds us not to worry about the opinion of other
people who don’t even have a good opinion of themselves! He tells us: “The approval of such
men, who do not even stand well in their own eyes, has no value for him.”
And Seneca (see Notes on Letters from a Stoic) reminds us that the world is so inconsistent in
its opinions we should just be done with it. He says: “Away with the world’s opinion of you, it’s
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PhilosophersNotes | The Four Agreements
“When you make it a strong
habit not to take anything
personally, you avoid many
upsets in your life. Your
anger, jealousy, and envy
will disappear, and even
your sadness will simply
disappear if you don’t take
things personally.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
“Write this agreement on
paper, and put it on your
refrigerator to remind you
all the time: Don’t take
anything personally.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
