I like my privacy, my own space where I’m unbothered. I have my key
jammed in the hole, the latch on and a chair against the door. No chances of
anyone ruining my peace.
I’d rather fill my lungs with smoke.
It makes me feel weird, to be honest. People might think it’s great to
be the centre of attention when they walk into a room, but I can’t stand it.
I’d rather be invisible. I’d rather no one knew who I was, or my family
history, or do everything they can to talk to me.
They don’t want to know who I am, not really.
You’d think living in one of the largest manors in the west of Scotland,
they’d struggle to find my room, my wing, but unfortunately, they have, and
if one more person knocks my door, I’ll put a cig out in their eye.
I should go to the party before Mum or Ewan can bang on the door and
give me shit, but I can’t seem to move from the balcony.
Because I’m preoccupied.
She has no idea I’m watching her.
Away from the rest, away from the party, a girl with long dark hair,
wearing a little black dress, sits on the edge of the pool with her feet in the
water.
Something about her intrigues me, so I keep my eyes on her.
I like to watch people from afar. I’ll study the way they act, their facial
expressions and body language in certain situations, the tones of their
voices. I intentionally make people uncomfortable just to see their
reactions. My teachers are forever complaining to my parents.
Mum tells me to stop it, but it’s a great way to pass time and try to
understand things that don’t come naturally to me.
I tilt my head to the side and stare at the girl with intense fascination.
Why is she not at the party? And who the fuck is she? I’ve never seen
her before.
I can’t stop looking at her – I don’t want to stop – unable to tear my
gaze away as she stares at the starry sky. She must be cold, surely.
September is nothing short of fucking Baltic.
Maybe I should take her down my hoodie and…
What? Shut the fuck up, Kade.
I stub out my smoke then toss it into the ashtray hidden under my
balcony ledge, keeping my eyes on the mystery girl while I shove on my
trainers.
